Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Credit Cards

All through college I thought I was way smarter than everyone else for not having a credit card. I was all, "HA, credit cards are for DAs that spend money they don't have." But joke's on me because now that I understand what a credit card is, how to use one, and why I need one... I have no credit history. Like, I have absolutely no credit history. And who knew, apparently you can't get a credit card if you have no credit history. And now, I realize that I actually DO need a credit card, like bigtime badforreal, to be a functioning adult. But I can't get one because I've never had one. Here's an exact copy of the email I got from my bank denying me for a card:

"Ms. Stokes,
You have been denied for a credit card because we cannot find any recorded credit history for you in the credit bureau. This does not necessarily mean that you have bad credit, it could just mean that you have no credit whatsoever. We suggest the following:
1. Build up your credit score.
2. Kill yourself."

I do not understand how I am supposed to follow suggestion #1?? #2 is pretty self-explanatory and thanks to you I'm beginning to seriously consider it, but isn't the reason I'm contacting you people to begin with so that I can make #1 happen?? Since being turned down by my bank, I've applied for cards with American Express, Capital One, and Discover. All of the conversations have gone pretty much the same.

I don't get it. I mean, I'm debt-free, I have a full-time job, I shower regularly, and I love dogs. With all the asshats in this country floating around on their ocean of credit card debt in their brand new yacht made of solid platinum that they just put on their plastic, you'd think these people would be fist-pumping to get me hooked up with a card. No way. 

My dad offered to co-sign on one for me. I'm 22. And also seriously considering this option. Go me.


  1. Did you try applying for this one Marlee?

  2. I saw that one, but I thought it was just for people new to the US??

  3. Well with no credit history, how could they possibly tell? Put an accent on the a in your name.

    Yea I guess I didn't exactly read it...

  4. OK seriously, that is the best suggestion I have gotten so far. I think I'm just going to do the Secured Card through Capital One. They seem like the best out of everyone. If that doesn't work, I'll try impersonating a foreigner and stealing my own identity. Getting a little bit reckless here.

  5. store credit card. Go to Kohls, target, etc.. they are a bit more relaxed and it will help start your credit history. Also, get your cell phone in your name, apartment, etc... all that builds your credit history. Welcome to the big girl world POST a credit meltdown. Fun huh?